And All these Little Things.

When I said I'm in love with you. I wasnt lying. Maybe now you've moved on me. But I really dont want to move on eventho I have to. How can I simply let go of someone, who took care of, who would stand all my arguments about simplest thing, who would stay if eventho you had so many reasons to leave me. How easy can I let it all go. Our promises. Our dreams. You love milo but you cant take other milo than milo kotak or you'll get sweaty and feel like vomiting. You hate it when people nag at you. You love the colour red. You would definitely prefer tumblr than everything. You suck at singing but it is so cute when you sing to me. You always feel like your hair is the worst hair ever when your hair is the most stunning hair I've ever seen. You love it when I call you sayang, baby, sweetheart, darling and all the manja names. You love Siwon. You hate hunger games. You always call me budak budak or even said that I'm like a baby. Your baby. You always call me babe. You have the most manja voice especially in the morning. You're so garang when it comes to me for not eating or mandi. There's just so much about you that I could tell. I still hope what I gave to you. All. And if I ever gonna fall in love again. It would definitely be you. But now that we're over. I guess. But that doesnt I've stopped loving you right? Maybe I will move on one day and fall in again but I'm sure that its not gonna be the same like how I fell for you. Falling in love with you was so. Was so magical. Falling in love with you is like flying all all around the world. Its so wonderful. I'm gonna miss staring at your beautiful eyes, play with your hair, tell you how much I love you, tell you how much you mean to me, giving all my best for you, your voice, your cute little laugh, the way you smile just melts my heart. Everything. I'm gonna miss you. So much. Because you are the first person that I've loved this much. I hope you are happy and find someone who's better than me for sure. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. So badly. I'm sorry that I treated you like shit before. I'm sorry you didnt feel like a princess. And as I promised. I'll love you so much. I'll love you endlessly. Moving on is the best thing we could both do but it takes a very long time for me. Goodbye my lover, my friend, my bestfriend, my soul, my everything. I love you so much, sayang ❤

I gave it all but I guess it was not enough

Hello. Everything's is starting to fall apart and I dont know what to do. Everyone is assuming I have bipolar. Its not funny at all. My uncle has that disorder. My mama also said this to me " perangai kau dah nak sama macam dia " and do you know how hurtful it is? The only person I trust. You know who you are, love. She was there when my family abandoned me. She stopped me from comitting suicide. She told me all the positive things in me when I said the negative ones. But now. She's no longer there because of something. I hope I dont have this bipolar disorder. But the symtops are like .. Me. If its true. If i have bipolar disorder, i would never forgive myself. Lately I've cut my wrist, my hands. And thought of suicide. Every night I think about this thing that was said by someone. She said, because of me her sister is ruined. Is it true? What have I done to people's life. I dont even think that I deserve to live anymore. People always leave me hanging. Always. That saddens me. I'm sorry I have ruined people's life. I have know idea. And now, theres no one to tell me that I'm better than this. No one who's gonna be here for me. No one to stop me from doing stupid things. Maybe its true. Because of me everyone is ruined. Should I live in this beautiful world when I'm ruining people's life. Would everyone be happy if I leave this world? Would the person that's always there for me will be free after what I've done to her, hurt her. Would that person said that i ruined her sister's life, be happy? If yes. I'm willing to leave. I'm sorry eveyone.