lifez.

whatdup. so what happened? nothing much. bbm-ing with Melor. went for a jog this morning. was letting it all out. I wish I could go back January 2011. the first day of school. I wish I didnt meet some people. as usual, I fucked things up. all the happy days now seems so far away. day by day people are leaving me. first Qistina then Syamimi and now guess who lah ~ really tried to make things right again with QZ but we can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong. she's the type that sumpah susah nak pujuk. do whatever about it, she won't fall for it anymore when she fell for it once before. seriously. I do regret what I did to her. should've listen to her and shouldn't meet her in the first place if I knw it could hurt me like this. I never meantto do those things to her but I did when I didnt realized it. maybe her life would be so much better if she just leave me hanging or whatever. she just assumed that she don't even knw me more like '' hi I'm ariesha. I'm already dead ''. I dont knw how lah next year. sama sesi, must be hard for us to ignore each other while she hates me till death and me? missing her to be her friend again. lifez broz. its weird that she'd always appear in my dream. so here I am, here without you, QZ. it was really nice when we were friends before. especially during the camp exco '11. thanks for taking good care of me during the camp. thanks for giving me advises for like 4-5 months? thanks for all the fun that we had together during the camp. thanks for teaching how life must go on and people come and go in friendship. thanks for all the memories. thanks for being my friend for temporary. thanks for the tears. thanks for everything. you taught me a lot of things in friendship and life. sorry for all the hurtful moments I got you with. sorry for not to listen what you've said to me. sorry for making you a lot of trouble to hear all my story that I've told. I;m sorry for everything tho. lol but we just can't fix this thing anymore. it better to have it your way. ignoring each other and pretend that you're dead to and I'm dead to you. I should've be there for you when you need me the most, I'm sorry I wasnt there for you like you're always be there for me no matter what. I'm so fucking selfish, I know and I'm really sorry. really regret it this time. it's almost a month we didnt talk. sorry for missing you so sudden. you're right when you said '' you'll never miss that person until they're gone ''. sometimes its better to be like this rather than keeping this friendship alive and hurt even more.

Trying.

supp bro and whores ~ okay sorry. hekhek. so its almost 2 AM and I'm wide awake. oh yeah I deleted my formspring few hours ago. I had enough questions about Nashuha. bukan lah nak marah tapi cam haih, I'm having a hard time right now especially pasal Nashuha. semua nak sibuk tahap babi. she just wants me to change and I can't. I've tried to be the person she wants me to be but I just cant. thats the reason really why I didnt want to talk to her and avoiding her as fuq. this is the only place that I can express my feelings and let it out. this is the only place that I have and this is the only place that she wont know what I feel. the only person I talk to is Melor and Cya. tu pun jarang gila okay. I'm grateful and thankful, seriously but its not easy to be me. I'm fucking sensitive and weak. I've lost a lot of people I love and I'm just afraid of being happy again cause when I'm happy there's always some bitches who try their best to ruin it, annoying bitches. hate them for life. whatever. lol. see what I mean? I'm like the glass. once its broken it can never be fixed. just like the paper too, once its crushed it can never be perfect. fuck life. I'm bad in friendship seriously. paling lama pun boleh tahan is Melor, 3 years and still counting. I just dont wanna hurt anybody anymore. because I'm too sensitive. I get sad when people yang rapat didnt talk to me more than 3 days. last week Nashuha told me what she really hates about me. she said that I get emo easily and stuff like that. I REALLY TRIED NOT TO FIGHT BACK, and boo yeah. succeed ~ lol. then she asked me to change. I've tried. it work, for a few days. actually I pretend to be what she wants me to be when I'm with her. lol saya tahu saya awesome ^.^V then lama lama she just assumed that I'm fine. but pergh taktahu rasa macam mana sebenarnya. the last time I talked to her was 19th October. now its 25th. dont say anything. it kills me slowly ~ so, 3 days ago, I deleted her number and stuff. all the messages. even photos. cant tell you how I feel cause cant even say it. cant even describe it tho. I think its the best. people come and go. I'm afraid of loosing her as always. she didnt knw that. she's busy with others and just dont have time for me, I guess. cant do anything about it. we had a lot of arguments and fights in 7 months. thanks anyway. no one has ever made me to fight back and care for that person so much like you did. I bet she thinks that '' oh dia junior aku, lol junior memang macam ni. nk rapat dengan senior. immature punya otak, they just wanna have fun je. diorang tak sedar pun apa yang diorang cakap. its like cakap kosong. they'll get over it bila aku dah habis sekolah ''. yeah I am immature, I think narnia is real and love peterpan. but as you can see, tak ramai pun senior I tried my best to talk to them. if you noticed. I only tried for you. yeah our age 2 years beza. but I seriously tried to understand what you feel. guess not good enough. I'm the type of person who loves friendship more than anything else it this world. you can see I've tried to impressed banyak orang but I've tried hard till I'm tired to impressed you. 7 months bro. lol tapi ye lah, I'm just not mastered in friendship. not my thing but at least I've tried. nice to know you.

y I'm sho sherious?

lol hi? yesterday I was pretty moody and stuff. then chat with Melor terus jadi hyper as fuuq. loliz. so what happened? heh I get tired easily nowdays. shitz. weh uh, yeah people change mhm? my phone so senyap ya know. no text. no calls. no whatsapp. no whatever. the truth is, I dont miss my twitter and facebook at all. I just feel so much better without twitter and facebook bcs if I still have twitter and facebook I'll stalk my friends and realize that they've changed. a lot. seeing them online, talking to others and not you. and stuff like that, cant help stalking them. so yeah, better to delete online stuff. fucked up month for me. seriously, sleep at 5 AM everyday, playing all the sweet memories that I've had. its killing me to realize what I used to have, I dont have it anymore. 5 more days and off to Jakarta. haihhh. byeee~

this one’s for you and me living out our dreams. we’re right where we should be.

thanks Melor Syaza Abul' As

wish you were here.

so hi? just told Melor about paranormal activity 3 hihi :3 ppl keep asking why I delete my facebook and twitter and they were like '' sebab Nashuha eh? '' ppl please mind your own business. ye, saya delete number dia and what so ever ah. when ppl dont talk to me or whatever makes me feel like they're not trying or what, I just delete number diorang and assume that they're dead or something. ppl get tired lah. I stop trying cause there's nothing to fight for when you know its not worth it. I just dont wanna talk to anyone okay? fair enough. its the best for me right now. and no, Nashuha its not the reason why am I becoming like this. blame life. next saturday I'm off to Jakarta for 3 days, be back on monday. cant take my bm both paper and science paper 1. shitz. supposed to go jogging with Cya this morning. woke up pretty late. SORRY CYA :/ fucked up day. fucked up week. fucked up month. everything is so fucked up. I dont give a fuck, I do but haih FUCK IT. there's a lot of fuck ey? sorry. I'm just too depressed and stressed out. I dont even know why. and no, I'm not PMS-ing. so .. I get for nothing nowdays. I get mad at ppl for nothing but I keep it all inside. last time, I always let it out and tell it to someone somehow. but now? I just dont. I just stop doing all that stuff and shit. I hate everything. I hate everyone. yeah, I hate all the form 4's. ALL. except for Cya. yeah, hate Nashuha too. surprised? dont be. sorry but for now? I JUST HATE EVERYTHING. everything is so .. annoying. do you know how hurt it is to be like this? shit happens, true but IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME. can I be HAPPY for once? ppl sangat annoying, when I'm happy there's always someone will try their best to ruin it, well fuck you. I hope you'll get a blowjob by a shark or get hit by a rollercoaster or die just like in paranormal activity. OI, I GOTTA STOP JADI MARAH KAT SEMUA BENDA. WELL FUCK YOU EVERYONE. BYE.

HOW TO LOVE EXAMS.

lulz. hi evelibodi? harhar. ok. so having my finals now. oh wow lagi a couple of months dah nak masuk form 3. fuck life. okay so um what's up? oh saya delete facebook dan twitter saya ^.^V hahaha why? bcs there's no point to go online when you know the person you want to talk doesnt wanna talk to you. oh yeah delete 3 orang punya number :) hint? semua form 4. hehehe I bet you guys dah tahu siapa. I bet you all think that mesti aku tengah sedih bcs of that kan? mhm actually yeah, a lot. but that's the best. why do we keep a friendship when that someone layan macam sampah. lulz. forget about it and move on, Ariesha. hekhek. oh yesterday was agama and maths paper 2. guess what? saya dapat soalan bocor ^.^V hekhek. agama punya paper exactly sama and maths 2 sikit je lah dapat. alhamdulilah it was okay. I'm so tired. barely talk to people. lol anti social. hekhek. please call, text or whatsapp if you guys wanna reach me. need to study, bye bye ^.^V