Trying.

supp bro and whores ~ okay sorry. hekhek. so its almost 2 AM and I'm wide awake. oh yeah I deleted my formspring few hours ago. I had enough questions about Nashuha. bukan lah nak marah tapi cam haih, I'm having a hard time right now especially pasal Nashuha. semua nak sibuk tahap babi. she just wants me to change and I can't. I've tried to be the person she wants me to be but I just cant. thats the reason really why I didnt want to talk to her and avoiding her as fuq. this is the only place that I can express my feelings and let it out. this is the only place that I have and this is the only place that she wont know what I feel. the only person I talk to is Melor and Cya. tu pun jarang gila okay. I'm grateful and thankful, seriously but its not easy to be me. I'm fucking sensitive and weak. I've lost a lot of people I love and I'm just afraid of being happy again cause when I'm happy there's always some bitches who try their best to ruin it, annoying bitches. hate them for life. whatever. lol. see what I mean? I'm like the glass. once its broken it can never be fixed. just like the paper too, once its crushed it can never be perfect. fuck life. I'm bad in friendship seriously. paling lama pun boleh tahan is Melor, 3 years and still counting. I just dont wanna hurt anybody anymore. because I'm too sensitive. I get sad when people yang rapat didnt talk to me more than 3 days. last week Nashuha told me what she really hates about me. she said that I get emo easily and stuff like that. I REALLY TRIED NOT TO FIGHT BACK, and boo yeah. succeed ~ lol. then she asked me to change. I've tried. it work, for a few days. actually I pretend to be what she wants me to be when I'm with her. lol saya tahu saya awesome ^.^V then lama lama she just assumed that I'm fine. but pergh taktahu rasa macam mana sebenarnya. the last time I talked to her was 19th October. now its 25th. dont say anything. it kills me slowly ~ so, 3 days ago, I deleted her number and stuff. all the messages. even photos. cant tell you how I feel cause cant even say it. cant even describe it tho. I think its the best. people come and go. I'm afraid of loosing her as always. she didnt knw that. she's busy with others and just dont have time for me, I guess. cant do anything about it. we had a lot of arguments and fights in 7 months. thanks anyway. no one has ever made me to fight back and care for that person so much like you did. I bet she thinks that '' oh dia junior aku, lol junior memang macam ni. nk rapat dengan senior. immature punya otak, they just wanna have fun je. diorang tak sedar pun apa yang diorang cakap. its like cakap kosong. they'll get over it bila aku dah habis sekolah ''. yeah I am immature, I think narnia is real and love peterpan. but as you can see, tak ramai pun senior I tried my best to talk to them. if you noticed. I only tried for you. yeah our age 2 years beza. but I seriously tried to understand what you feel. guess not good enough. I'm the type of person who loves friendship more than anything else it this world. you can see I've tried to impressed banyak orang but I've tried hard till I'm tired to impressed you. 7 months bro. lol tapi ye lah, I'm just not mastered in friendship. not my thing but at least I've tried. nice to know you.