And All these Little Things.

When I said I'm in love with you. I wasnt lying. Maybe now you've moved on me. But I really dont want to move on eventho I have to. How can I simply let go of someone, who took care of, who would stand all my arguments about simplest thing, who would stay if eventho you had so many reasons to leave me. How easy can I let it all go. Our promises. Our dreams. You love milo but you cant take other milo than milo kotak or you'll get sweaty and feel like vomiting. You hate it when people nag at you. You love the colour red. You would definitely prefer tumblr than everything. You suck at singing but it is so cute when you sing to me. You always feel like your hair is the worst hair ever when your hair is the most stunning hair I've ever seen. You love it when I call you sayang, baby, sweetheart, darling and all the manja names. You love Siwon. You hate hunger games. You always call me budak budak or even said that I'm like a baby. Your baby. You always call me babe. You have the most manja voice especially in the morning. You're so garang when it comes to me for not eating or mandi. There's just so much about you that I could tell. I still hope what I gave to you. All. And if I ever gonna fall in love again. It would definitely be you. But now that we're over. I guess. But that doesnt I've stopped loving you right? Maybe I will move on one day and fall in again but I'm sure that its not gonna be the same like how I fell for you. Falling in love with you was so. Was so magical. Falling in love with you is like flying all all around the world. Its so wonderful. I'm gonna miss staring at your beautiful eyes, play with your hair, tell you how much I love you, tell you how much you mean to me, giving all my best for you, your voice, your cute little laugh, the way you smile just melts my heart. Everything. I'm gonna miss you. So much. Because you are the first person that I've loved this much. I hope you are happy and find someone who's better than me for sure. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. So badly. I'm sorry that I treated you like shit before. I'm sorry you didnt feel like a princess. And as I promised. I'll love you so much. I'll love you endlessly. Moving on is the best thing we could both do but it takes a very long time for me. Goodbye my lover, my friend, my bestfriend, my soul, my everything. I love you so much, sayang ❤

I gave it all but I guess it was not enough

Hello. Everything's is starting to fall apart and I dont know what to do. Everyone is assuming I have bipolar. Its not funny at all. My uncle has that disorder. My mama also said this to me " perangai kau dah nak sama macam dia " and do you know how hurtful it is? The only person I trust. You know who you are, love. She was there when my family abandoned me. She stopped me from comitting suicide. She told me all the positive things in me when I said the negative ones. But now. She's no longer there because of something. I hope I dont have this bipolar disorder. But the symtops are like .. Me. If its true. If i have bipolar disorder, i would never forgive myself. Lately I've cut my wrist, my hands. And thought of suicide. Every night I think about this thing that was said by someone. She said, because of me her sister is ruined. Is it true? What have I done to people's life. I dont even think that I deserve to live anymore. People always leave me hanging. Always. That saddens me. I'm sorry I have ruined people's life. I have know idea. And now, theres no one to tell me that I'm better than this. No one who's gonna be here for me. No one to stop me from doing stupid things. Maybe its true. Because of me everyone is ruined. Should I live in this beautiful world when I'm ruining people's life. Would everyone be happy if I leave this world? Would the person that's always there for me will be free after what I've done to her, hurt her. Would that person said that i ruined her sister's life, be happy? If yes. I'm willing to leave. I'm sorry eveyone.

The Weight Of A Heavy World.

hello there narnians. hello there. I had this drama with a family lulz. anyways i wanna talk about my sayang. hey if you are reading this ( which I know you will ) i love sayang so much and I miss my baby so much. Its been a while since we last talk. I know I caused you so much trouble this time and I'm sorry. because of me you are pretty scared of your family condition now eh sayang? just wanna let you know that, everything's gonna be alright okay? we just have take it really slow this time. we must be a little sabar okay? after that we can lovey dovey as usual. so btw i miss sayang so much. your little talks. staring at your beautiful eyes and more sayang. i cant really sleep at night cause all that I think of is you sayang. i fall asleep everyday reading your texts. seeing your pictures that you gave me and the ones that i secretly captured hehehe ( i love you too sayang <3 :* ) so my two days without talking to sayang. REALLY NOT A GOOD DAY THO. Chelsea lost against sayang's team. MAN UTD -.-t THE REFF WAS BEING SO UNFAIR OKAY SAYANG. HA SAYANG BAYAR REFF TU BERAPA AH? lost they lost 3-2. not just that. Torres and Ivanovic got a red card, seriously baby how much di sayang pay the reff -.- hm i better go now. do as you promised me, EVERDAY TAU! bye busuk. I love sayang so much, I'll miss baby so much. Good night sayang, sweetdreams baby, sleeptight princess. mwah mwaa <3 :*

Eh?

Oh hi there. ignore my post before this. I feel like stabbing myself after reading it ... Lol. Emotional level infinity meng. Life is hard for me to handle now. Look at Katniss, omaigawd. But I prefer Izara Aishah because she is just too adorable. LOL. Anyways, I'm being invisible to the world. It sucks. Lost almost everyone. Well not everyone. I have nothing to say. chiow ~

the last goodbye.

hi people. yeah I didn't blog for a long time. lol. as you can see,I've changed a lot, pain does that to people. I deactivated my twitter and facebook account too and I'm better without em'. after 9 months I get to know this one girl and 9 months of trying so hard and fail all the way to make her happy. we fight all the time. but I'm starting to give up and never fight for you back. I don't know. I suddenly like don't care about you anymore. I do, but not as much as the last 9 months. I don't know what's going on but its like there's nothing I feel about you anymore. we're good but I don't even matter if we don't talk more than three days and surprisingly I don't wait for your talk anymore... I don't miss you that much as I did before anymore. I don't bother about you as much as I did before anymore or get sad about you anymore... it's like, my feelings for the last 9 months towards you just gone. you used to be the amazing thing in my life but now, not anymore. and our convo asyik dead je and I don't try to make effort to talk to you anymore. I dont know, its better if we just not being friends anymore... I used to tell you that I'm afraid of losing you someday but right now I just dont mean it. I'm over you already. I dont get sad or mad if you're with other juniors anymore. I know its weird that I don't care anymore but this is real. my feelings towards our friendship, its there anymore. even it is still there but its not the same as how I feel for the last 9 months. I seldom think about you anymore. I used to care about you a lot but day by day I realized that, you're no longer the person I used to love. our friendship is not failing apart but I just feel this few days back and yeah. I wish I could love, care and think about you just as much as I did BEFORE. I tried but I just can't. that feeling wont exist anymore even if I tried my best. you've brought out the best in me, true that but right now you just don't.. even if you do, I dont feel it anymore. I'm feeling like this is because maybe you had me for the past 9 months but you just didnt see me? or you just want me when you know you can't have me anymore. I don't know, I just don't but honestly. I dont feel anything anymore towards you just as much as I did from january until november. I'm sorry for everything but I dont feel it anymore :/

last.

hi. dear readers. the truth is, it wasnt Nashuha's fault. she treated me good enough. I am the one who was so selfish and not grateful. I wish I could make things right again but I cant. aku ni panas baran and rude. I'm sensitive when it comes to everything. this is the first time I cared so much about friendship that is why I'm like this. before I met Nashuha, I played with everyone's heart, I break their heart and stuff. I was an asshole before I met Nashuha. no wonder I dont really like people last time. and when I met Nashuha, I cared for her so much til I'm afraid of loosing her and might break her heart. pay back's a bitch huh? I deserve it anyway. sometimes letting go of someone we love might be hard but I dont know. I hope I'll be fine. thanks for everything. its okay. I'm fine with it. seriously. I'm fine, eventually. I shouldnt be mad at you for everything, I know, I was wrong and I admit it. guess thats all. so Khairun Nashuha Mustaffa Halabi, you're leaving me? you made a good decision. no kidding. sorry for all the pain, heart aches, sorry kalau I selalu buat you macam nak baling or hang up everytime we talk on the phone, sorry for being emotionally sad and mad at everything. I'm sorry for everything. sorry sorry and sorry. I wish nothing but the best for your future. thank you for making me happy for 7 months. I'd appreciate it. you're the best I've had, so far. do whatever what makes you happy. if by leaving me makes you happy, then I'm happy for it. I'm sorry, thanks and goodbye, Khairun Nashuha Mustaffa Halabi.

1st November 2011.

hey. came back from Indonesia at 10 something. when I was in Jakarta, I was having so much fun but I've think too much as well. I was thinking what should I do and stuff. I thought when I get back from Indonesia, things would be just fine. I swear I thought this fight macam normal. I mean we both selalu gaduh over every single thing. 2 weeks we didnt talk or text or whatever, you just MIA. let's reply all the memories that we've spent? well yeah. 7th February 2011 - the first day we met. remember when I came to sesi pagi to see Eileen and she introduced her friends to me and you're one of them. I was so shy to say hi at you. then you offered me chocolate called daim and I took it with my shy face and you laughed. days after that we started to talk to each other at facebook but not really that often. remember when your '' choir season ''. everyday dekat dewan tu you have this choir practice and when I look at you, you just smile at me everyday. at the same time I'm having some family problem and you listened all my stories and we became close friends. remember when you used to prank me like the fake fight at the end you'll say ' AHAHAHA KENA GAME ' yeah. and after 2 months we started to have fights and argues. on teachers day we hung out together with your friends. remember when we exchanged our phone for one week? it was fun. then you introduced me to your mum, Puan Salasiah. I was so shy and scared but you said '' dia baik lah, trust me '' and you're right, she is. then a day before sports day you were busy watching the sports going on at the back of our school cabin. I went there to find you, and I did we wacth together that thing and stuff and I just realized that my file was missing and I'm pretty sure that it was one of my friends. so I told you about that and you went to look for them and said '' korang ada ambil file ariesha ke? '' then they lied by saying '' takda '' and you said '' kalau aku tahu kau ambil file ariesha, siap korang ''. hahahaha that was fun too. you're funny when you're mad. then on sports day, we hung out together but we didnt talked much, I dont know why. I just follow you around the stadium with your friends and stay silent. I really had a great time eventho that day didnt go very well. carnival bukit jelutong 11', we hung out and took some pictures. that you had to leave earlier cause you wanted to go to your friend's place and asked me to stay with cya. and I did. so I went back and print the pictures, and one of the pictures was I really liked it so I put it in my wallet. on hari 1 murid 1 sukan 1 malaysia day I finished the race earlier than you did so I waited for you at the finished line, and all you say was '' oh hi '' and walked away with your friends. so I just assumed that you were busy or tired and I just let you be. i hung out with '' her '' and she asked me why I tak lepak with you and stuff. I lied and said '' oh malas ah '' and she checked my wallet and saw the picture and throw it. and guess what? I pick up walaupun kat dalam tong sampah and put it back inside my wallet. yeah, thats it, sometimes we bumped with each other at school, sometimes I just watched you masa balik when you dont really noticed I was there. I get sad when we dont talk or text more than 3 days. I trust you. I really wanna make you happy. I'm afraid of loosing you someday and everytime I tell you that, you'll say ''chill lah, i'll never leave you '' such a relief and I actually believed it. then we started to have fights every single day. you kinda like changed. you wont tell me things. I dont know. things just changed day by day. then 19th October we had random convos at whatsapp and suddenly you appeared offline without saying bye, I assumed that you;re sleeping or something. then after 1 week, yuo dont text or whatsapp me. I started to feel so .. fucked up and keep thinking stuff. then went to Jakartaand now I'm in Malaysia. aku balik rumah waiting for a text from you. then I decided to call you, you didnt pick up. and yeah I deleted your number but I'd still remember your number even when I've deleted it. then you texted me '' shaa you called? '' and I was mad like yeah, after 2 weeks baru nak reply. I said '' siapa ni '' and we kinda like bla bla fight idk. idc. and today is 1st November 2011. I thought today is brand new month for me to start and IDONTKNW? feel better maybe? so I went online just now and shit whatever. and I received a text from. and that text was long, I think its the longest text you've ever text me. now in that text. its cleared that you wanted to leave me. what is air. this is the first time. usually I'm the who always wanna leave you. guess this is it. I dont know what to do now and I'm all fucked up. you.. I wish you have great life without me, khairun nashuha mustaffa halabi.

goobye, Kuala Lumpur

off to Jakarta in a few minutes so yeah. I've said goodbye to my friends already. Nashuha is the only person who dont even knw I'm going to Jakarta. she dont gives a fuck anyway so buat apa nak bagitau. she's happy better off without me and thats the fact that I have to face it. fuck my life, it hurts to see that they're better without you but life muct go on. fuck my egos and emotions. I just dont give a fuck about me anymore. I dont give a fuck about, Nashuha. well I do but haih, fuck it. be back in Malaysia on monday. thats all.

fuck you,

sorry for cursing a lot lately. you have no idea how fucked up I am. its just that, I never tried so hard for someone for that long. so yeah. off to Jakarta in 6 more hours and I'm right here living my life pretending to be okay. does it hurts you to see someone you love turn out to be what they told you they'd never be? well yeah, this is life. I cant believe I've wasted my time on someone who doesnt even gives a fuck about me. obviously they are fine. I wonder if you ever think that how hurt would I be right now. of course you'd probably think like this '' lol heard that many times from you. fuck off you'll be fine ''. lolz. yeah sure. guess my friends were right when they told me this '' people come and go. dont put your hopes to high on them cause one day they'll get bored of you and leave you without an explanation or a reason '' wow. you've changed my life. thanks for the memories.

Cool story.

bapak cool sial. I remembered when you used to like '' omg sampai hati dia buat macam ni kat you. sejahat-jahat I, at least I tak buat macam tu kat you. never will ''. lol now it seems to be that you're turning to be that kind of person that you've told me you'd never be. you know what? I thought you were different. I thought you was my only friend that could change me to be better. I THOUGHT WRONG. LOLZ. weh seronok hidup sekarang? you're good at hurting my feelings. congratulations for that. would you like a hug from me? awww. I'm proud of you. lol. please lah. don't make promises that you can't keep it. weh kau fikir aku apa sial, batu? kata aku suka cakap pasal diri aku that's your reason why you don't want to talk to me. but when I fucking ask you like '' eh dah makan?. esok paper apa? dah study? how was your day? are you okay? goodluck for esok okay? kenapa tak tidur lagi? how was your paper? boleh buat tak? ''all that shitty questions that I asked you every time we talk. pastu kau response '' oh okay lah. dah. ahahahaha lol '' sumpah aku tahan sial. aku nak je tanya kau '' kau ni nak cakap dengan aku ke tak? '' but yeah, I fucking dont want to cause I dont wanna ruin your mood or your day. fikir aku tak fikir semua tu? weh aku fikir dulu sebelum aku cakap tahu tak. lol fine you're tired of listening at family problem stories and shit. fine. I'll never talk about it, ever. I shouldn't told mama that you are the only person I trust and could my day better. lol fucking regret introducing you to my family. fucking regret telling about how amazing you are that you could make fee so much better and the bestest friend I've ever met to my friends. fucking regret for wasting my time for you. if I knw that you were gonna hurt me like this, I would never urgh whatever. buang masa menangis sebab kawan macam kau. buang masa aku je fikir kau punya safety semua padahal kau tak pernah pun terfikir macam tu semua. such a waste time. I knw I'm just a normal form 2 kid yang tak famous, problematic kid, immature and dumb and you're just embarrassed of having a friend like me. if you think that I give up easily then you're wrong. if you think that I've changed, no I've stopped living my life in your way. fine, I hate to see that you're happy without me when you dont feel the same way as me cause that's what friends are supposed to feel. I'm sorry that I cant be what you always wanted me to be and tired of me. have a happy wonderful fucking life without me. I don't care if you're gonna tell everyone that I'm such a loser fuck dumb retard kid for messing up with you about what I've done to you. but please, don't forget to tell them about what you did to me.

well look at the blind side and you'll find me.

hi people. I'm still mad tho. okay hi. saturday off to Jakarta. I'm gonna travel alone. cause my mama dia punya flight lain time so yeah. gonna cut my fringe after this. gonna clean my room, and this evening gonna jog. gonna start a new start. I hope this will make me better today. I hope. I wish. I have nothing to say anymore. I'm just mad and disappointed. byebye. I hope you're fucking happy now, Unicorn.

I hate this song.

watched 500 days of summer just now. today I was mad all day. should see my room. I mess everything up today. fuck my my fucking life. I wish I never met anyone at all. I just wish I'm dead. really. Imagine if I never met everyone. everything would be just fine. I hate everything, its so annoying. fuck all of you. nanananan fuck you, you and YOU. JUST FUCK ALL OF YOU. I gave and tried my best and this is what I get in return? hoho thanks for everything _|_ are you happy? GOOD I HOPE YOU DO. lol you're just bored of me. sorry lah dapat kawan yang tak lawak langsung yang tak ada sense of humor langsung. ftw. you knw what? I've tried to make you happy or laugh. at least I tried. sorry lah dapat kawan yang paling bodoh nak mampus sampai tak cakap 1 minggu pun dah sedih macam sial en. wtf. lol at my life. I'm so sorry that I'm different than anyone else. well whatever. do whatever makes you happy. I dont bother to care anymore. even I care I'll pretend not to. fuck you. yeah. bla bla. lol bye. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU.

seven days.

whatdup. its 26th. fucked up week. slept early last night. 10.30 off to bed. woke up at 7 and stare at the fan til 9 like that. think a lot. replays all the memories. stuff like that. as you can see, everyone is assuming that I'm already dead. yes. I am a ghost right now. lol. I bet they dont even care -.- wow just wow. I can be dead. sure. I'd do that, if that make ya'll fucking happy. fine. have it your way. hi Nashuha, its been 7 days or should I say 1 week since we talk. I can see that you're happily online at Twitter and Facebook within this 1 week, eventho I dont have one. so dont expect me to talk to you again. loooooooool. JUST LOL. well you wanted me to change? fine I'll change to be someone you dont even wanna talk to. because I have feelings too. you and your idk whatever that so called '' Ariesha you have to change '' can go live in a sweet happy life if you want. cause I've tried my best and you didnt like it either. dont tell me that '' oh I tak reti nk tunjuk macam mana nk appreciate '' or whatever that you told me before. you said when we talk its always about me, me, me AND ME. you know, after what you've said that I barely talk about me anymore to you or to people. semua benda aku tanya kau, dah makan, dah study, esok paper apa, bla bla. well yeah your responses semua nak tak nak je jawab. weh sapa tak bengang. lol I didnt tell you this cause aku nk jaga hati kau. tapi ah mampus ah. remember when you listed all the things that you hate about me and you asked me to promised that I dont get offended. sorry I lied, I was offended and I just remain silent. lol bro dont worry, I'v already deleted your number. oh wait, I'm already dead to you lah, lupa pula. dont expect me to be myself again, well dont expect me to talk to you again. banyak lagi form 2 yang pandai and tak selalu emo. pergi ah pilih, bersepah. banyak lagi budak yang baik daripada aku so watlek je lah ~ I wish nothing but the best lah weh. there's no point of me trying the best of me when I already knw that you're gonna find someone else better than me. lol thanks for wasting my time. tak payah nak cakap '' Ariesha I just dont knw how to show my appreciation and love towards you ~ '' dah bosan dengar benda sama. dah bosan dengar '' I'm sorry '' bosan tahu tak. sakit hati je dengar. thanks for making my week the worst week ever, and the most fucked up 7 days ever. LOL AT MY LIFE. JUST LOL BRO. bye have fun :D

lifez.

whatdup. so what happened? nothing much. bbm-ing with Melor. went for a jog this morning. was letting it all out. I wish I could go back January 2011. the first day of school. I wish I didnt meet some people. as usual, I fucked things up. all the happy days now seems so far away. day by day people are leaving me. first Qistina then Syamimi and now guess who lah ~ really tried to make things right again with QZ but we can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong. she's the type that sumpah susah nak pujuk. do whatever about it, she won't fall for it anymore when she fell for it once before. seriously. I do regret what I did to her. should've listen to her and shouldn't meet her in the first place if I knw it could hurt me like this. I never meantto do those things to her but I did when I didnt realized it. maybe her life would be so much better if she just leave me hanging or whatever. she just assumed that she don't even knw me more like '' hi I'm ariesha. I'm already dead ''. I dont knw how lah next year. sama sesi, must be hard for us to ignore each other while she hates me till death and me? missing her to be her friend again. lifez broz. its weird that she'd always appear in my dream. so here I am, here without you, QZ. it was really nice when we were friends before. especially during the camp exco '11. thanks for taking good care of me during the camp. thanks for giving me advises for like 4-5 months? thanks for all the fun that we had together during the camp. thanks for teaching how life must go on and people come and go in friendship. thanks for all the memories. thanks for being my friend for temporary. thanks for the tears. thanks for everything. you taught me a lot of things in friendship and life. sorry for all the hurtful moments I got you with. sorry for not to listen what you've said to me. sorry for making you a lot of trouble to hear all my story that I've told. I;m sorry for everything tho. lol but we just can't fix this thing anymore. it better to have it your way. ignoring each other and pretend that you're dead to and I'm dead to you. I should've be there for you when you need me the most, I'm sorry I wasnt there for you like you're always be there for me no matter what. I'm so fucking selfish, I know and I'm really sorry. really regret it this time. it's almost a month we didnt talk. sorry for missing you so sudden. you're right when you said '' you'll never miss that person until they're gone ''. sometimes its better to be like this rather than keeping this friendship alive and hurt even more.

Trying.

supp bro and whores ~ okay sorry. hekhek. so its almost 2 AM and I'm wide awake. oh yeah I deleted my formspring few hours ago. I had enough questions about Nashuha. bukan lah nak marah tapi cam haih, I'm having a hard time right now especially pasal Nashuha. semua nak sibuk tahap babi. she just wants me to change and I can't. I've tried to be the person she wants me to be but I just cant. thats the reason really why I didnt want to talk to her and avoiding her as fuq. this is the only place that I can express my feelings and let it out. this is the only place that I have and this is the only place that she wont know what I feel. the only person I talk to is Melor and Cya. tu pun jarang gila okay. I'm grateful and thankful, seriously but its not easy to be me. I'm fucking sensitive and weak. I've lost a lot of people I love and I'm just afraid of being happy again cause when I'm happy there's always some bitches who try their best to ruin it, annoying bitches. hate them for life. whatever. lol. see what I mean? I'm like the glass. once its broken it can never be fixed. just like the paper too, once its crushed it can never be perfect. fuck life. I'm bad in friendship seriously. paling lama pun boleh tahan is Melor, 3 years and still counting. I just dont wanna hurt anybody anymore. because I'm too sensitive. I get sad when people yang rapat didnt talk to me more than 3 days. last week Nashuha told me what she really hates about me. she said that I get emo easily and stuff like that. I REALLY TRIED NOT TO FIGHT BACK, and boo yeah. succeed ~ lol. then she asked me to change. I've tried. it work, for a few days. actually I pretend to be what she wants me to be when I'm with her. lol saya tahu saya awesome ^.^V then lama lama she just assumed that I'm fine. but pergh taktahu rasa macam mana sebenarnya. the last time I talked to her was 19th October. now its 25th. dont say anything. it kills me slowly ~ so, 3 days ago, I deleted her number and stuff. all the messages. even photos. cant tell you how I feel cause cant even say it. cant even describe it tho. I think its the best. people come and go. I'm afraid of loosing her as always. she didnt knw that. she's busy with others and just dont have time for me, I guess. cant do anything about it. we had a lot of arguments and fights in 7 months. thanks anyway. no one has ever made me to fight back and care for that person so much like you did. I bet she thinks that '' oh dia junior aku, lol junior memang macam ni. nk rapat dengan senior. immature punya otak, they just wanna have fun je. diorang tak sedar pun apa yang diorang cakap. its like cakap kosong. they'll get over it bila aku dah habis sekolah ''. yeah I am immature, I think narnia is real and love peterpan. but as you can see, tak ramai pun senior I tried my best to talk to them. if you noticed. I only tried for you. yeah our age 2 years beza. but I seriously tried to understand what you feel. guess not good enough. I'm the type of person who loves friendship more than anything else it this world. you can see I've tried to impressed banyak orang but I've tried hard till I'm tired to impressed you. 7 months bro. lol tapi ye lah, I'm just not mastered in friendship. not my thing but at least I've tried. nice to know you.

y I'm sho sherious?

lol hi? yesterday I was pretty moody and stuff. then chat with Melor terus jadi hyper as fuuq. loliz. so what happened? heh I get tired easily nowdays. shitz. weh uh, yeah people change mhm? my phone so senyap ya know. no text. no calls. no whatsapp. no whatever. the truth is, I dont miss my twitter and facebook at all. I just feel so much better without twitter and facebook bcs if I still have twitter and facebook I'll stalk my friends and realize that they've changed. a lot. seeing them online, talking to others and not you. and stuff like that, cant help stalking them. so yeah, better to delete online stuff. fucked up month for me. seriously, sleep at 5 AM everyday, playing all the sweet memories that I've had. its killing me to realize what I used to have, I dont have it anymore. 5 more days and off to Jakarta. haihhh. byeee~

this one’s for you and me living out our dreams. we’re right where we should be.

thanks Melor Syaza Abul' As

wish you were here.

so hi? just told Melor about paranormal activity 3 hihi :3 ppl keep asking why I delete my facebook and twitter and they were like '' sebab Nashuha eh? '' ppl please mind your own business. ye, saya delete number dia and what so ever ah. when ppl dont talk to me or whatever makes me feel like they're not trying or what, I just delete number diorang and assume that they're dead or something. ppl get tired lah. I stop trying cause there's nothing to fight for when you know its not worth it. I just dont wanna talk to anyone okay? fair enough. its the best for me right now. and no, Nashuha its not the reason why am I becoming like this. blame life. next saturday I'm off to Jakarta for 3 days, be back on monday. cant take my bm both paper and science paper 1. shitz. supposed to go jogging with Cya this morning. woke up pretty late. SORRY CYA :/ fucked up day. fucked up week. fucked up month. everything is so fucked up. I dont give a fuck, I do but haih FUCK IT. there's a lot of fuck ey? sorry. I'm just too depressed and stressed out. I dont even know why. and no, I'm not PMS-ing. so .. I get for nothing nowdays. I get mad at ppl for nothing but I keep it all inside. last time, I always let it out and tell it to someone somehow. but now? I just dont. I just stop doing all that stuff and shit. I hate everything. I hate everyone. yeah, I hate all the form 4's. ALL. except for Cya. yeah, hate Nashuha too. surprised? dont be. sorry but for now? I JUST HATE EVERYTHING. everything is so .. annoying. do you know how hurt it is to be like this? shit happens, true but IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME. can I be HAPPY for once? ppl sangat annoying, when I'm happy there's always someone will try their best to ruin it, well fuck you. I hope you'll get a blowjob by a shark or get hit by a rollercoaster or die just like in paranormal activity. OI, I GOTTA STOP JADI MARAH KAT SEMUA BENDA. WELL FUCK YOU EVERYONE. BYE.

HOW TO LOVE EXAMS.

lulz. hi evelibodi? harhar. ok. so having my finals now. oh wow lagi a couple of months dah nak masuk form 3. fuck life. okay so um what's up? oh saya delete facebook dan twitter saya ^.^V hahaha why? bcs there's no point to go online when you know the person you want to talk doesnt wanna talk to you. oh yeah delete 3 orang punya number :) hint? semua form 4. hehehe I bet you guys dah tahu siapa. I bet you all think that mesti aku tengah sedih bcs of that kan? mhm actually yeah, a lot. but that's the best. why do we keep a friendship when that someone layan macam sampah. lulz. forget about it and move on, Ariesha. hekhek. oh yesterday was agama and maths paper 2. guess what? saya dapat soalan bocor ^.^V hekhek. agama punya paper exactly sama and maths 2 sikit je lah dapat. alhamdulilah it was okay. I'm so tired. barely talk to people. lol anti social. hekhek. please call, text or whatsapp if you guys wanna reach me. need to study, bye bye ^.^V